My Wife Cheated—and Let Him Do Something She’d Never Let Me Do

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While the husband's stopped all contact with the other woman and doesn't want to dwell on the past, the wife insists on knowing the details. How much disclosure is needed for the couple to heal? A: How much to share and when to share are issues that confront every couple trying to recover from the discovery of infidelity. It's common for the betrayed partner to obsess over learning the graphic details, while the unfaithful partner tries to suppress descriptive information. Information that's disclosed too early in the process can be destructive, but total avoidance only intensifies alienation caused by the affair. I actively structure the timing and the process of disclosure to maximize the healing effects of sharing the story of the affair because I've found that revealing the details of an affair is seldom constructive in the presence of uncontrolled emotional intensity or unresolved ambivalence about the future of the marriage.

Along with other things, the idea of attractive off my clothes and being bare in front of someone new terrified me enough to stay monogamous. After that I met Steven at work. He was married, with a 1-year-old after that a 4-year-old. That which was a long time ago primary now became secondary. But how do you actually do it? How does one pull it off? A few years ago, two women wrote a wildly popular, much-praised and much-vilified handbook for single women called The Rules. I had participated in a year of marriage counseling, in accumulation to weekly visits with my accept therapist: Nothing was working. I conjugal him because I thought he was appropriate: handsome, a good friend, brainy, Jewish, good in bed no: actually good in bed-initially, at least after that would never leave me.

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