D Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash of anger at his wife when she said she was worried about him riding his bike in an unsafe neighborhood. Even though he knew she was not being controlling or judgmental, and despite being aware that her apprehension was based on the fact that she really loved and valued him, he felt rage. A woman became outright nasty when her boyfriend told her that he loved her so much he wished that they could have children together. She had never expressed hostility toward him before and the man involved was not pressuring her or even suggesting a course of action.
Beefy, healthy, independent people can find themselves in the white-knuckled grip of a toxic relationship. Relationships evolve. They adjust and they grow. Sometimes they accident and they burn. You can adhere to that one. Wanna get some tequila baby?
After a man can't get it ahead, the experience for him and his partner falls somewhere between awkward after that utterly mortifying — I've even heard of men not calling women ago because they were so ashamed of their inability to keep things arrange the up and up. Because men are so sensitive about it, after that because it's about as embarrassing a moment as he can experience, it puts the woman in a actually tough spot. Of course you a minute ago want to say, Honey, is around something I can do to help? He's thinking, No, I'm just dying from the pressure here, and the last thing I want you en route for do is even notice, much a lesser amount of try to help! So what be able to a woman say or do after her man can't rev up the engines? Here are a few possibilities but know that any one of these can backfire, too, depending arrange the circumstances.